Guitarist of Megalomaniacal Speed

Category : Blog Archive Apr 23rd, 2009

. . . seeks audience who won’t combust.

I’ve been hitting up Craigslist looking for affordable Cleveland-area housing (yes, I have seen the Craigslist Killer stories dominating the news lately), and got totally distracted by the musical listings on the “Best of Craigslist.”

But who doesn’t like guitar, right? I don’t think you understand. Jimi Hendrix played guitar. Groucho Marx played guitar. I think Winston Churchill might have played guitar. What I play is something different.

Picture a Verdi opera: 3 hours of music, some of beautiful and ennobling, at times piquant and subtle, other times dramatic and inspiring. Take those three hours of music, those thousands of musical notes, and compress them into 4 measures of incomprehensible speed, delivered with earth-shaking finesse and a raucous disregard for any physiological limit to human auditory perception. I cannot stress this enough: I will play guitar so fast your face will melt.

(Oh yes, there’s more.)